Breasts Are Not Just Foreplay, They’re Gateways
When it comes to intimacy, breasts are often treated like a warm-up.
Something to grab, squeeze, kiss, nibble, or rush past on the way to “the main event.”
But breasts are not just there for foreplay.
They are gateways.
To the heart.
To the nervous system.
To deeper pleasure, safety, and access to more of our life force.
From a biological and somatic perspective, breast touch activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of us that softens, opens, and allows us to surrender and feel pleasure, connection, and intimacy.
It signals safety and it tells the body it doesn’t need to brace.
Energetically and tantrically, the breasts are directly connected to the heart centre.
When they’re touched with presence and devotion, not urgency or “let’s get somewhere” energy, something shifts.
Energy begins to move upward, not just downward. A beautiful flow of pleasure, life force, and sexual energy can start to move between the pussy and the heart.
This is why so many women say they feel more open, emotional, receptive, or even teary sometimes when their breasts are touched with devotion.
And it’s also why skipping them often creates the opposite effect.
Many women say they can feel a very real difference in pleasure and orgasm depending on whether the breasts have been touched, and how.
When they’ve been met with love, warmth, and attention, their whole body responds differently.
Orgasms are expansive, pleasure spreads up through the body and their heart stays open.
When they haven’t, when touch around the heart is rushed or absent, pleasure can still happen, but it’s often more contained and less nourishing.
This doesn’t mean breasts need to be the focus every single time.
But a golden rule I often share is this:
If you want to open more to intimacy or if you want to open a woman, don’t skip the breasts.
And if you want her to open more, spend more time there.
For many women, breast massage is also an act of self-love, and an act of reclamation.
It’s about reclaiming our breasts from being objects to be looked at or used for someone else’s pleasure during sex.
Reclaiming them as a part of us to be felt, loved, and honoured. Remembering that they belong to us first.
Not for performance. Not for the male gaze or expectation.
And not solely for someone else’s pleasure.
At the same time, it’s a shared experience of pleasure.
Many women can feel deeply turned on when men are enjoying our bodies and touching us from their desire.
When it’s mutual, present and wanted.
Touching your own breasts, or your partner’s, with presence isn’t about doing more.
It’s about slowing down enough for the body to soften so she can receive and for the heart to open.
No pressure. No rushing. No goal. (Just like everything else when it comes to sex)
And remember: you all have ten minutes a month you can set aside for breast massage that isn’t part of sex.
You can grab some coconut oil and massage your own breasts.
Or offering your partner a breast massage with no expectation that it leads anywhere afterwards.
(Did I just give you some ideas for Valentine’s Day next month? 💛)
PS: I don’t actually love the word foreplay.
Let’s be honest, everything in life is foreplay.
Not just the twenty minutes before penetration.
And sex is so much more than penetration.
I’m using the word here simply because we all know what I mean.
You can also download my free heart-womb meditation here
With love,
Alexandra
