Lockdown Intimacy Game 1
My first lockdown intimacy game – Eye gazing! (Super powerful for bonding, connecting and self exploration)
Boring? Uncomfortable? Scary? Yes your thoughts and feelings are welcome but trust me it’s SUPER POWERFUL. All I ask you for is 5 minutes of your time today. It’s easy, you don’t need anything and you can do it at any time and anywhere with your partner, lover, date, flatmate or friend.
What could you experience?
- Feeling calm, relaxed and grounded
- Presence – in your body, with your partner, within yourself.
- Feeling deeply connected to yourself and your partner
- Feeling closeness, gratitude, love, warmth, care
It can also be quite emotional or overwhelming. You might notice pain in your body, pressure in your chest from stress, trauma or other forms of sensations or pain. It’s not very often we are completely still in silence and give ourselves some time to just be and feel. All your feelings and sensations are welcomed.
Giggles and laughs are common. I do this all the time when I get a bit nervous or uncomfortable in the beginning. I have been to courses, workshops and business events where they have made us eye gaze for a few minutes with a stranger to drop in and become present. I always tend to giggle for a few seconds before I feel safe or calm. As I said it’s a powerful way to help people be “here and now”
How to:
- Sit down with your partner facing each other.
- Take 3 deep breaths together (Optional but recommended)
- Set a timer for one minute and close your eyes and just sit in silence.
- Partner A with the shortest hair say: You are safe and your feelings are welcome
- Partner B repeat: You are safe and your feelings are welcome
- Set a timer for 3 minutes and just look at each other’s eyes. (if you don’t know where to look or are flicking between the eyes I recommend you focus on their left eye
- Partner A ask: What are you feeling right now and do you want to share something about this experience? B share
- Partner B ask same questions and A shares.
If you start giggling and laughing in the beginning just let it happen and you can either reset the timer to 3 minutes when you have stopped, you eye-gaze for the remaining time in silence or you try again tomorrow. There is no right or wrong here.
3 minutes is a very short time. It might feel like forever if this is a bit uncomfortable for you so I keep it to 3 minutes to start with. I also invite you to change the timer to 10 minutes for a more powerful experience and a chance to slow down and drop in with yourself and your partner but honestly 3 minutes of eye gazing makes a massive difference.
It’s ok to cry!
Examples to share at the end: This was wierd, I feel calm, My body feels sadness about everything that happens in the world, I started to think of XYZ, this made me super uncomfortable, I feel so much love, stupid exercise, I miss X, I feel pain in my back, I feel connected with you, I need a hug, I love you, I don’t want to do this again.
It could be anything. Just share what you are feeling in the moment. Could be a few words or a couple of minutes of the experience.
