10 Things A Woman Actually Wants on Valentine’s Day (or Any Day) Intimacy Edition

Whether you love Valentine’s Day (I think it’s cute) or think it’s a commercial circus of overpriced roses, here’s the truth about what women want on Valentine’s Day.

While many women love chocolate and flowers, it might not be what she desires the most this year.
Ladies, am I right?

What many women actually crave is to feel seen, desired, and safe enough to soften and open to you. Not just in the bedroom.

So many women are starving for real pleasure and connection.

And yes… that’s a much higher bar than flowers from the petrol station or the last-minute:
“So… what do you want to do tonight?”

So whether you’re single, dating, married, or somewhere in the “it’s complicated but we still share a Netflix account” category…

What Women Want on Valentine’s Day: 10 Intimacy Tips

1. Slow down your whole nervous system first

A woman doesn’t open to speed. She opens to presence.
If you’re rushed, distracted, checking your phone, or thinking about work… she will feel it in her body.
Take a breath. Arrive. Let your energy say: I’ve got time for you.

2. Eye contact that lingers just a few seconds longer

It doesn’t have to be the intense, soul-staring, tantric-workshop gaze.
Just a soft, warm, “I really like you” look.
Women feel desired through subtle energy long before clothes come off.

3. Appreciation that’s specific

Not “you look nice tonight.”
Try:
“I love how soft your skin feels when I touch your arm.”
Or:
“You have this way of smiling that makes my whole chest relax.”

Specific, genuine appreciation melts armor.

4. Touch her like you’re not trying to get somewhere

This one is big.
So many women feel like every touch is a stepping stone to sex.
Try touching her back, her shoulders, her hair… with no agenda.
Pause. Lean back. Breathe.

When her body realises she’s not being rushed, she’ll often start leaning in on her own.

5. Clean sheets, nice lighting, and a calm space

Nothing kills erotic energy like clutter, bright overhead lights, and yesterday’s gym socks.
Environment matters.
A woman’s arousal is contextual. Clean the sink.

Think soft light, a candle, music, fresh sheets… not interrogation-room lighting and a phone vibrating every two minutes.

6. Let her take her time

Many women need 15–30 minutes of warm-up to even start feeling deeply aroused.
This is not a flaw.
This is biology, nervous system, and emotional safety all working together.

When she doesn’t feel rushed, her pleasure can become wildly more intense, something that spreads through her whole body, not just her pussy/yoni.

And remember: the warm-up often starts in the morning… before dinner, and definitely before the first touch in the bedroom.

7. Kiss like you mean it

Not the quick peck.
Not the tongue-down-the-throat Olympic sprint.
Slow. Curious. Present.

Let the kiss build. Let it breathe.
Pause. Look at her. Feel her.
Notice how your own life-force energy starts to move… and how hers begins to move too.

8. Words in her ear

A soft whisper can travel straight to the nervous system.
Tell her what you love about her body.
Tell her how she makes you feel.
Tell her what you want to do with her… slowly, respectfully, with warmth.

Desire expressed with heart is incredibly arousing.

9. Stay with her pleasure, not your performance

When a man is stuck in his head thinking, Am I doing it right? Will I last? Is she enjoying this?
…his attention leaves the moment.

A woman feels that disconnection immediately.
When you focus on her breath, her sounds, her body, her responses… intimacy becomes a shared dance instead of a performance.

10. Worship, don’t rush

A woman’s body is not a checklist.
It’s more like a landscape.
If you explore it with curiosity, reverence, and patience… you’ll often discover far more pleasure than you expected. For both of you.

And yes, this includes going down on her.
With presence.
With patience.
With the attitude of someone who actually enjoys being there.

Which of the 10 is your favourite?

Fun fact:
In some parts of the world, March 14 is known as Steak and Blowjob Day.
So consider this weekend your chance to set the bar high.

Give her an experience she’ll still be glowing from a month later.

And in March… we can talk more about men’s pleasure.

If you’d like a deeper dive into the art of pleasuring a woman, I wrote a cheeky little guide years ago that still holds some juicy gems:

“Eat Pussy Like a God”
https://soulintimacy.com.au/how-to-lick-pussy-like-a-god/

Wishing you a Valentine’s filled with real connection, warm bodies, soft hearts, and maybe a few delicious surprises.

Remember, you don’t need a specific day to celebrate each other, your love, or spend a few extra hours in the bedroom.

And if you’re still wondering what to give this Valentine’s…
why not gift yourself, your partner, or your relationship a session with me where we can explore and learn how you can experience more pleasure, deeper connection, and the kind of intimacy that lasts far longer than roses.

Love,
Alexandra
Soulintimacy