What is De-armouring?
It’s a slow, mindful conscious healing where you work with your body to release blockages so you can feel at home in your body, enjoy sex, feel more pleasure, awaken your sensuality and connect to your pussy. You can de-armour any body part but we are going to talk about yoni (pussy) de-armouring.
The difference between self pleasure and De-armouring is that during self pleasure/masturbation we follow pleasure and want it to be as pleasurable as possible and de-armouring is a self healing experience. We allow pleasure but we don’t chase it.
Armour is trauma or shame from past experiences that stops us from fully feeling and connecting to our body. The tissue in our sex organ store trauma and negative messages and beleifes that we have picked up along the way. It can be messages or experiences from our childhood/upbringing, school, past lovers/relationship, religion, society, social media, advertising or just something the man behind you said in coles one day that wasn’t even in a conversation with you but that you overheard.
There is so much shame and stigma around sex and intimacy that stops us from really enjoy and allow pleasure. When we are disconnected from our sex centre it will disconnect us from our truth, our voice and stop us from attracting everything we want.
Every single one of us stores trauma and suppressed emotions inside our body and especially in our pussy. If you are feeling numb or disconnected, trust me, you are not alone. There is no shame in that and you can release this with a bit of work/self healing. I would say 99% of us carry shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear about being too sexual or too sensual or enjoying too much pleasure in life.
Fuck this shit, pleasure is life, being sexual and sensual is amazing!
Being turned on, happy, vibrant and radiating confidence and self love is the new black.
Why de-armouring?
Here are some things it can help you with. The more you stick to your regular practice the more likely you are to have profound experiences.
What do you need?
Your own fingers or a glass/crystal pleasure wand.
I recommend that you start with your own fingers the first time to get familiar with yourself and connect with you pussy. After that personally I prefer to use a glass or crystal wand because it’s easier to reach, they are more firm so it’s easier to access areas with tension and release it. If you haven’t got your own glass/crystal wand yet, please reach out and I can guide you to the right one for you. (If this is a practice you feel the calling to do)
How do we de-armour ourselves?
Time:
Set aside 45 minutes. I know this sounds like a long time but honestly you deserve at least 45 minutes of self love once a month for a healing purpose. Sometimes you might just want to spend 10 minutes and that’s enough and other times you spend 90 minutes because things are coming up for you and you are not ready to stop. Your body will tell you, slow down, feel more and listen to your body. You can de-armour yourself a few times / week or a few times / year. You do what’s right for you. I feel the more regularly I do it, the more profound experiences I have.
Set the space
Think like you are getting a massage. You want to feel safe, relaxed and soft. Maybe lit a candle, clean your bedroom, burn some incense, lock the door or tell the people you live with that you are going to meditate or do an online workshop and don’t want to be desturbed.
You need to feel safe and feel into what you need to feel safe? When are you feeling most relaxed? Maybe you want to meditate before, have a cup of tea or put on a song and dance for a few minutes. I highly recommend to dance/move or do some breathework before to clear energy, allow yourself to get out of your head and be in your body already before you start. Dancing/shaking before have always led me to the most powerful de-armouring experiences.
Intention
Set an intention. You know I always talk about intentions and well, it works. Some things won’t come to us straight away but when we are really clear on what we want we will attract it when the timing is right.
Intention could be:
Trying to be as present as possible
Exploring my body/pussy with curiosity
Finding spots with tension/pain and release it
Finding numb areas and trying to bring sensitivity back
Be here for myself and hold myself
Get to know my own pussy
Catch myself when my mind wonders and bring myself back into my body
Turn off your phone. This is 45 minutes, it’s just one episode on netflix or a quick non mindful scrolling on instagram that you are swapping to self-love, to hold yourself and to heal yourself. You have 45 minutes for that. Right? You are worthy!
Going to the gym is great but we also need to exercise our internal body and mind. Looking after our sex centre is super important, is a part of who we are. It’s how we access our creativity energy, program our body to feel safe in connection with sexual activities and pleasure, give our pussy the love and attention she needs and turn on our inner gps and intution.
This is not a one hit wonder experience. You might go in and give yourself a yoni massage and feel tension and remember things from the past on the first go, but chances are that it could also take a few sessions or quit some time before you can associate the pain, tension and numbness with past experiences.
Be kind to yourself, every step is a step in the right direction.
Approach your body with curiosity. Even five minutes of yoni massage is a step to release tension.
No judgment, no attachment, Just love and care.
Your body will never give you more than what you can handle.
The yoni massage/de-armouring
I lay on my bed but you can sit up, squat down or even sit on the toilet to reach better if you are using your fingers.
Warm up, get relaxed and soften – touch your whole body.
Start with touching your whole body.
Spend some time to stroke and massage yourself everywhere.
Get the blood going.
Touch yourself like you want your lover to touch you.
Wake up all your body parts.
Touch the body parts you do not love a bit extra.
Touch your stomach.
Touch your heart.
Massage your breast.
Stroke, tickle, squeeze your inner thighs.
Spend a lot of time here. Remember foreplay needs to be 20-40 minutes for a woman to be ready to be penetrated.
Touch your pussy – your whole pussy
Everywhere!
Outer and inner lips.
The area between your clitoris and the opening.
Play around with different touches/strokes.
Allow pleasure but don’t follow it or stay with the same touch/area.
Increase blood flow.
Feel the clitoris, touch around her, touch her, circle, tapping etc
Love and connect to your pussy.
Feel how you are getting aroused.
Spend a lot of time with external touch and give her the love and attention she deserves.
When you are feeling ready to go inside ASK YOURSELF FIRST
Am I ready to go inside?
Are you ready to be penetrated? (asking your pussy)
Do I want my fingers/the wand inside now or not yet?
Whatever works for you, saying it out loud helps you learn to express yourself, express your boundaries and ask for what you need in life. You can also ask yourself in your head but really feel into it, is she ready?
You will feel the answer and if she is not ready you might need to spend more time touching yourself or maybe today isn’t the right day.
Honour yourself and your body.
If it is a NO listen to that and come back another day.
Lube!
Make sure you are really wet or that you are using lube.
Using lube is normal and it should be as normal as reaching for a steak knife when you are eating steak for dinner. There is no shame in using lube.
We don’t always get wet even if we are really horny, warmed up and ready.
Even if you don’t get as wet as you wish you are normal. Our hormones, cycle, stress, dehydration and a million other things out of our control affect how wet we get. Grab some lube and make it as pleasurable as possible during sex, self pleasure and de-armoring without any shame around that.
Start with your fingers
The entrance is for many women the most sensitive part so start there.
Run circles around the entrance and stay there for a bit. Connect to yourself. If you feel pleasure, remind yourself that the pleasure is yours.
Go slowly inside and just a tiny bit and feel yourself.
Move your fingers around on the walls inside the vagina and feel what you are actually feeling like inside. Reflect.
Get familiar with what it feels like on the different spots and if you are feeling the sensations in your fingertips or on your vagina walls. Maybe both?
If you are using your fingers through the whole practice you can stay with your fingers and if you are using a crystal or glass wand you can grab your pleasure product now.
I highly recommend that you start with your fingers the first time or the first few times to get the chance to really feel yourself.
Again check in with yourself so you are ready and want to be penetrated with your healing product if you choose to do the practice with a wand. Even if you do this practice regularly with a wand there might be times when your body doesn’t want a forign object inside. Ask her and honour her.
The clock
I recommend going inside with your wand/fingers and starting at 12 oclock just over your G-spot and just holding there for 30 seconds to a minute. Just hold on the spot and breathe into it. Not trying to achieve anything or doing things “right” just hold with curiosity and allow your feelings.
What are you feeling? Numbness, sensation, pain, pressure, discomfort, pleasure?
Move on to 1 oclock, 2, 3, 4, 5 and all the way around. Do a second round and maybe there are some spots you want to hold longer and some spots you can skip.
If there is pain, tension or numbness, hold there. Imagine sending love and really breathe into those spots inside your vagina. Press the glass wand against those spots and imagine it like a trigger point massage, hold there maybe massage a little bit to release the tension. It should not hurt like you can’t stand it but “be” with the discomfort if there is some tension there.
Relax, breathe, allow sounds to release the tension.
Ask your body to show you how long it wants you to hold there.
Breathe!
It’s like rolling on a foam roller. You know when it’s time to move on to the next muscle. You might have to come back to some spots with tension or pain another day.
Connect to your pussy
Ask yourself:
What is all this tension?
Where is the numbness coming from?
What is she holding onto?
What is she trying to save you from feeling?
What are you carrying with you?
What do you need to let go of to feel safe?
What is your body trying to show you?
Allow sound to release and lead and move the tension and trauma out of your body. Shaking a little bit could help as well to release.
Remember the 3 key elements for moving energy and pleasure in the body is:
SOUND, BREATH AND MOVEMENT.
If you are experiencing past memories or emotions, just be with it. Allow them to come up, feel them and imagine releasing them and leading them out of your body.
Claim back your sexuality, claim back your power, your body, your pleasure, your orgasms.
They are all yours and you are worthy of pleasure and self love.
Sometimes you might just work with one spot and end the session and other times you work on a few. Some sessions you might feel “nothing” or numbness and other times everything is just painful.
Some experiences might be really deep and other times you can’t get out of your head. Sometimes you might start it as a healing practice but end up self pleasuring instead and that’s ok but I invite you to really do this as a healing practice every now and then.
Other times you might just want to self pleasure but feeling tension and turn it into a healing practice. That is absolutely fine as well.
There is no right or wrong as long as you listen to your body and you are doing what feels right for you.
Also every time you are pulling out your fingers, wands, sex toys, cocks, strapon or whatever. Ask yourself or tell yourself first to prepare your body for the separation.
“I’m going to pull out now”
This is also a beautiful way for couples to end the love making. Get your boyfriend/girlfriend to ask before they pull out the cock/dildo/strapon –
Are you ready for me to pull out?
After you have pulled out place one hand on your heart and one over your pussy and stay there for as long as you want. Send love to your heart, send love to your pussy and send love between your heart and your pussy. Celebrate yourself, acknowledge yourself. Feel gratitude spread in your whole body. Hold yourself and say a few loving, kind words to yourself.
Maybe you want to journal about your experience?
Women from all over the world are taking actions and claiming back their power, pleasure and sexual wellness through de-armouring. Take your time and trust the wisdom of your body. Be kind to yourself and approach your body with curiosity. The less you are trying to force things and the more you surrender to the practice the more you will get out of it. Remember we don’t go to the gym once and lift 100kg, or pick up a pensil once and paint like picasso or bake a master chef quality cake the first time we step into the kitchen. Every time we do something we are moving in the right direction.
Disclaimer
This little guide is based on personal experience and wisdom from women all over the world who have used glass and crystal wands for de-armoring and healing for years. It’s not meant to be used as medical advice. Do not use the products to treat any health problems or diseases. Consult with your healthcare professional before using your wand and don’t use this guide as a substitute for any medical advice.
Bring awareness to how often you judge yourself or others throughout the day/week.
Open a new note/document in your phone. Every time you are judging someone or yourself write that down when you catch yourself. This is a practice to bring awareness to how often and how much we judge ourselves and others. By bringing awareness to it, we can challenge it and stop. Write down your judgment without judging yourself for judging. (Jesus!!) But also reflect if what you are judging is your truth. Some will be and others will not be aligned with what you actually think, believe or feel. When you realise how much you judge others it’s easier to bring awareness to how much you judge yourself and break free from that so you can move forward in life towards your goals and dreams. Your self judgment is holding you back.
Woman in Coles – How she was dressed –
Man in the park – Didn’t pick up the dog poop
Girl at the networking event – Said she was an expert at age of 22
My friend – dating a guy without a job
My mum – haven’t cleaned the kitchen
In the gym – shouldn’t wear this jumper with my shoes
On a date – he will think I’m boring wearing pants
At work – I’m not good enough for this task
Home – I shouldn’t be eating this if I want my partner to be attracted to me.
Have a look at the end of the day or week and see how much you are judging without even thinking about it.