Intimacy Practices/games for couples Copy
Eye gazing
3 minutes of soul gazing.
Super powerful for bonding, intimacy, connection and self exploration.
Boring? Uncomfortable? Scary? Trust me it can be SUPER POWERFUL and all I ask you for is 5 minutes of your time today and you have nothing to lose right?
What could you experience?
Feeling calm, relaxed and grounded, deeply connected to yourself and your partner, closeness, gratitude, love, joy, desire, pleasure, intimacy….
Presence – in your body, with your partner, within yourself
It can also be quite emotional or overwhelming. You might notice pain in your body, pressure in your chest or other areas from stress, previous experiences or unprocessed emotions, or other forms of sensations or pain. All your feelings and sensations are welcome.
Giggles and laughs are common. I have been to courses, workshops and business events where they have made us eye gaze for a few minutes and I always tend to giggle when I get a bit nervous.
1. Sit down with your partner facing each other.
2. Take 3 deep breaths together
3. Set a timer for one minute and close your eyes and sit in silence.
4. Partner A with the shortest hair says: You are safe and your feelings are welcome. Partner B repeats.
5. Set a timer for 3 minutes and gaze into each other’s eyes. (if you are flicking between the eyes I recommend you focus on the left eye.
6. Share a few words about what you are feeling right now or about the experience.
If you start giggling and laughing in the beginning just let it happen and you can either reset the timer to 3 minutes when you stop, you eye-gaze for the remaining time in silence or you try again tomorrow. There is no right or wrong here.
3 minutes is a very short time but it could feel like forever if this is a bit uncomfortable for you. I keep it to 3 minutes to start with and I also invite you to keep going or change the timer to 10 minutes if you want more time. This is your practice.
Please comment, post a photo or send me a DM and share about your experience.
You can do this in many different ways. Next time try to touch each other’s heart with the left hand or sit forehead to forehead.
10 things lists.
Beautiful practice to get to know each other more and get really clear on how to turn each other on and initate sex in the right way for your partner.
In your own time sit down and reflect and write the lists and then sit down with your partner and share the lists together. Maybe write them down on a piece of paper and give them to each other to keep as reminders afterwards or send them to each other if you saved them in your phone. I recommend starting the sharing experience with 3 minutes of eye gazing, hugging each other for a few minutes or connecting in some way on a deeper level.
Remember the lists are to bring each other closer, gain more understanding about each other and create deeper intimacy that will lead to more sex or more fulfilling sex.
10 things that turn you on or get you in the mood. Either what you need in general or what your partner can do for/to you. (Your accelerators)
Clean house, enough sleep, time to connect over dinner first, nice underwear, great hair day, good workout, dress up, stroke your face, help with work, undress you slowly, spend 20-40 minutes touching without reaching the genitals, using a blindfold, being verbally expressive, surprise in the shower, massage etc
10 things that turn you off or are erotic blockages for you.
What’s your arousal breaks?
Dirty bedroom, Financial stress, Shit food, Conversation about XYZ, reaching straight for the genitals, touching too much, not enough, Partner is always home watching TV, being tired, touching your feet, when it’s cold, spending too much time together, not spending time together. (As you read your lists, don’t take this personally. Just see it as a way to move forwards and understand each other better. No one was born knowing how to turn people on or what we actually need or don’t like. Communication and learning each other together will bring you closer than ever)
10 ways you like your partner to initate sex with you.
Asking you, texting you that they want to go to bed together early tonight, shower together, by kissing slowly or holding hands during a movie, in the morning, after the gym, by connecting over dinner and spend quality time together first, by grabbing your ass and dragging you into the bedroom with desire, by kissing you passionately and holding your neck with a firm grip, after they cleaned the house sit naked on the washing machine 🙂
10 things you love during foreplay / sex / after sex
Oral sex, kissing, teasing and touching everywhere else than the genitals, sucking on nipples, play fight and wresting, being pushed against the wall, eye gazing, fingered with two fingers, licking the ears, dirty talk, being told what to do, gentle strokes, massage, stroking the inner thigh, grabbing your cock, shower together, slow neck kisses in bed,
10 Things you are grateful for and appreciate about your partner
Ten things you really like about your partner. Share this list last. Always end with the positive and gratitude.
Melting hug!
A melting hug is a long belly to belly, heart to heart, breathing and maybe being a bit uncomfortable until you melt and also hold space for your partner’s discomfort until he or she melts in your arms and you are both connected.
It’s scary to melt into another person’s arms, body and presence. It’s scary to be vulnerable, to be soft and to let our walls down and drop in fully with another person. There is so much power in a melting hug and a beautiful way to relax yourself and connect with your partner deeply.
1. Stand up 3 meters apart and look into each other’s eyes. Give it a moment until you are comfortable and have relaxed into it. Take a few breaths and pass through the awkward stage and allow yourself to be present.
2. Move towards each other and hug for 3 minutes. It’s a long time so let it melt away separation, sadness, stress, anxiety, fear, anger, pressure, feeling of not being enough, let it all melt away. Breathe normally until you are breathing in sync together. Allow yourself to feel safe, to feel love, to feel worthy and to feel connection. All feelings are welcome.
3. Move apart again to where you started and take off your clothes. Look into each other’s eyes and move towards each other and melt into another hug for 3 minutes and drop in even deeper together.
4. Move apart again, stand there for a minute and then sit down together and share about the experience.
Did you feel relaxed? Tense? Love? Did you hold your breath? What came up for you? Which part was scariest or most uncomfortable? Did you feel resistance or connection? Did you feel separation after the hug? How are you feeling now?
Just share a few words or sentences about what you are feeling or felt during the practise.
I know the “melting hug” has had mind blowing effects for many couples. Give it a go and let me know. Also you can give and receive melting hugs from friends, family and other people. Just do the 3 minute hug with clothes on and allow you both to drop in together.
Pleasure hunt
A little fin intimacy competition. The person who loses has to cook dinner tomorrow, give the winner a full body massage, clean the bathroom or whatever you two agree to beforehand.
Grab a few post it notes or paper and pen.
I recommend doing this naked or in underwear but keep the clothes on if you like.
Person A writes a spot on their body on a post-it note and puts it under the pillow or upside down on the table or just away so the other person can’t see. ( Nose, backside of the knee, ears, genitals, forehead, left ankle, wrists etc)
Person B is now going to kiss one body part at the time on person A until they find the right spot. Count every kiss and do 5 post-it notes each. Swap between each round.
Write down the points between the rounds so you can keep track and the person with the lowest points who finds the right spots first is the winner.
Feel free to play around with the kisses and make them as pleasurable and teasing as possible. A little nibble is fine, maybe suck a bit or lick before you kiss. A gentle bite could work but be careful, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. You know if your partner likes this, otherwise ask them before the game if biting is ok.
Also check in with each other before and ask about boundaries.
Are there any body parts you don’t want me to kiss?
This is great for a few reasons.
It gives you a chance to write down a spot that your partner normally doesn’t kiss you. Now you can kinda hint where you like more kisses.
While your partner is trying to find the right spot you might explore a new zone or area on your body that is really pleasurable. (Don’t forget to tell them afterwards, tex – It was very unexpected but when you kissed the backside of my knee it felt so good and tickled me in my genitals as well)
This gives you a chance to explore your partner’s body and kiss them in random places you normally wouldn’t do because it’s too wierd, too taboo, or too risky what they might think. Now, the game is on and you really want to win so be creative.
It’s fun, it’s easy and it will most likely turn you both on like crazy.
Tease Me Intimacy game
Grab a scarf, blind fold, kitchen towel, jumper or anything you can use as a blindfold.
Blindfold your partner standing up, sitting down or on the bed.
Start a timer and you have 2 minutes to grab 10 things in the home to stroke/tap/pleasure your partner with. The more different the things are the better.
Remember contrast is magical when it comes to pleasure.
(Don’t go for sex toys or pleasure products)
Stroke, poke, caress, tickle, smack, drag, spank… anything is possible and use the things for around 30 seconds on your partner in a way and in a place on the body where you think it’s most pleasurable. (Tease them, how wet or hard can you make your partner with a plastic flower?)
After 30 seconds the partner who is blindfolded gives you a number between 1-10 how nice it felt and 1 is “not so nice” and 10 is “OMG that felt so good”.
You get those points so write them down and the blindfolded partner guesses what you have been using and if they guess right they get 3 points.
You use all the 10 different things you grabbed one by one before you swap over.
Count the points and the winner gets the price you decided before the game or the loser gets the punishment.
The more random things you can crab the more surprised you might be how nice it feels. After this game you might have a draw full of s€x toys and pleasure products to use without spending any $$.
Think about how you can mix things up with different texture, materials, temperature & maybe something that makes sounds. Personally the fork is the most underrated pleasure product in the house. (Check my story for my own tips from my house)
Also as always. Depending on who you are playing with, sit down before and talk about your boundaries.
Have fun! (this can also be done with sex toys and pleasure products but thats anoter game, save that for tomorrow or next week)