You say you want amazing sex but are you willing to spend the time reading books, listening to podcasts, join programs and watch videos to learn more?

You say you want rough & primal sex but are you willing to learn about your woman’s menstrual cycle so you can understand her and her body every week of the month? Are you willing to slow down and feel her animal and what her heart is yearning for so you know when to be gentle and when to be rough?

You say you want more sex and that you wish your woman initiated it more, but are you willing to go home an hour early from work to send her to get a massage or a treatment so she can feel relaxed and really good in her own body ?

You say you want your woman to squirt, experience cervical and full body orgasms, but are you willing to put your ego to the side and stop focusing on “making her orgasm” and start focusing on her heart? Being present with her and feel her deeply outside of the bedroom? Willing to show up with integrity and create deeper trust and connection in every way? Allow her to feel seen, heard, understood, valued and appreciated outside the bedroom?

You say you want kinky sex but are you willing to slow down to a phase that is almost uncomfortable during “vanilla sex” to activate her parasympathetic nervous system to allow her body, heart and soul to feel safe? So you can bond and build the trust it takes before you dive into kinky sex?

You say you want a quickie in the kitchen and a blow job outdoors, but are you willing to spend extra time all the other times and truly be with her? Take your time during foreplay and explore her whole body? Stay inside her as long as she needs and hold her as long as she wants to be held after sex to integrate?

You say you want her wild woman, her dark feminine and that you want her to let go of all her inhibitions and allow herself to be wild, dark, messy and loud, but are you willing to feel all of your own emotions so you have capacity to hold space for all of her? Are you willing to hold her in her full expression and welcome all of her emotions outside of the bedroom?

You say you want your woman to be more in her feminine and surrender, but are you willing to work a few hours extra, look after the kids and pay for her women’s retreat? Send her where she can get out of her head and into her body in community with other women and soften into her feminine?
(yoga, singing, dancing, chanting, breathwork, circles, connecting to nature etc)

You say you want her to dress in erotic lingerie and sexy underwear but are you spending time every day to show her how much you absolutely love her body exactly as it is with all its imperfections and flaws? Are you loving, touching and kissing all of her and especially the body parts she struggles with the most?

You say you want to try new things and explore fantasies but are you willing to be vulnerable and practice communication in other areas of your life? Are you able to be uncomfortable and put your ego to the side and stay in your heart and hold yourself when you receive feedback and when she shares things she is not happy about? It’s only when she feels safe to express herself that she will open up about her fantasies and desires.

You say you want her pussy to open and drip with desire for you, but are you willing to spend a good amount of time around her breasts first as the breasts open her heart and her heart opens the pussy? Are you willing to spend time teasing her whole body and exploring her pussy like it was the first time every time? Working your way around the whole area before you even get close to the clitoris or go inside?

You say you want spontaneous sex and that you don’t want to schedule intimacy, but are you willing at other times to plan your erotic moments into every little detail? From how you are going to scrub her whole body in the bubble bath, setting up the bedroom with candles, rose petals, sensual music, erotic scent and clean sheets? Planning how you are going to take your time, ravish her and play with her body for hours and allow her to just receive?

You say you want to give her pleasure and orgasms and take her to a place she can’t take herself but are you willing to show up to your own practice so your nervous system can guide her to surrender? Do your breathwork, sit in silence, practice presence, being in your own body and learn to regulate your own nervous system?

You say you want to play with her naughty side, her bad girl or the slut in her, but are you willing at other times to put your own needs to the side to just hold her when that is what she really needs? Not fucking her, not making love to her, not entering her or touching her in any sexual way at all?

You say you want to experience deeper intimacy but are you willing and open to be mentored or guided by someone to can guide you beyond your own knowledge?

You say you want to feel her life force energy, her shakti and create a soul deep connection, but are you doing your own inner work, facing your own shadows and healing your shit to clean your system to be able to feel her and have those experiences with her?

It’s easy to say I want this, or I wish my partner XXX but often we don’t see the how much time, energy, love and effort goes into creating those connections and experiences.

Is it worth it?

I think so, what do you think? Is it worth making intimacy, sex, play and pleasure a priority?

As always this is not going to resonate with everyone as everyone is different and want different things and that is fucking beautiful. <3

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